Jane,
We've both exhibited our fair share of unconsciousness since we first met. Neither of us is more or less guilty. Neither of us is more or less of an asshole. I don't deny that I have been an asshole; in fact, I readily admit that I have been. But that's not who I am. Like you, at my core I am a good person. I wish no evil on you, from myself or anyone else. Yet like you, I do have a habit of behaving badly. Unfortunately for us humans, the recipients of our badly-behaved egos are often the people we're closest to. What's more, we're unconscious of the fact that we're even unconscious! So we often don't even know we're hurting them.
I believe relationships require two things the ego hates: compromise and acceptance, both children of humility. While a "couple," each person is still completely and utterly unique. Harmony—without balanced compromise—is impossible. Unbalanced compromise leads to one of two things: death to self (which births misery), or death to the relationship (which births renewal). Because we will so often fall victim to our own tyrannical egos, we will often err; however, the ego will do everything in its power to deny such. It will also unconsciously hold another's unconscious failures over their head in an effort to puff itself up. And it will refuse to hear: to hear of the other's perspective...for fear of exposure. Yet humility brings acceptance of all these things.
As for me, I'm still dealing with the legal end to what was a 12-year relationship wherein unbalanced compromise and unbalanced acceptance ultimately led to its death and, fortunately, to my renewal. And as I reflected on our drive home, wherein I made myself completely and genuinely vulnerable with you, having to that point in our relationship repeatedly compromised my own needs and at that point accepted my own failures, I found myself in the same position. Your own explicitly stated and clearly demonstrated disinterest in our relationship, coupled with my own reflection, led me to agree it best we move on.
Thankfully, no experience, no relationship—however brief—is for naught. Unquestionably, my life has been enriched by your presence in it...thank you. Know that I do care about you, Jane. And I encourage you in and wish you the best on your journey of awakening.
With love,
Meusus
Jane's reply...
Its all your fault. You are A BIG ASS!!!
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